And You Cannot Handle Pressure

So I've been a ball of stress since the BRU incident. I think it has to do with nesting as well. I'm thoroughly overwhelmed by how much I feel like I have to do. And I'm not getting any pleasure out of the things I do accomplish. It just feels like there is so much to do. Finish never-ending bathroom rehab, set up the nursery, deal w/ the rest of the house, obedience train the dog, take childbirth classes, prepare to take a couple of months off of work, fire my accountant, breast feed, lose baby weight, eat healthier, get more exercise, knit more, go to schul more often, celebrate shabbos every weekend, potty train the baby, spend more time in the garden, cook more... Would you like me to continue? I could go on for another 10 pages.

I've been waking up at 4 in the morning again, wide awake and in full panic mode. This is when the not drinking and no klonopin really sucks. So anyway, I was up working at 5:30 today. Got a lot done. RedBetty and I IM'd for a bit and she told me the creepiest story. The Roto Rooter guy that was in her house a few weeks ago is a child molester!!!! OMFG. She recently moved and realized that she hadn't checked the Illinois Sex Offender Registry in regard to her new neighborhood. She did and sure enough, she recognized her Roto Rooter guy! Unfuckingbelievable.

So then I decide, well, I'm going to be a parent in 3 months, so I need to check out my neighborhood. Now why did I do this to myself? Did I really need this information on this day when I'm already stressed to the max? No, but of course I went to look.

And guess what? There's a convicted child molester who lives right around the corner from me. Oh holy hell. You think that isn't enough to set a pregnant woman over the edge? I'm totally on the lookout for this guy. And I'm now seeing this issue from a completely different view. Not that I would have been thrilled to have a child molester living next to me before I was pregnant, but I feel really intolerant about it now. I don't care that there is a chance that this guy has mended his ways. I want him out of my neighborhood and clear the fuck away from my child. I'm amazed how certain things become really black and white when you've got a little one to protect. You don't want to expose your young to the tiniest sliver of risk. Few of us feel that way about ourselves.

Things felt better this afternoon. I threw myself into work and got engrossed in a couple of client's problems. Figured a few things out for them. That always helps me to feel better.

Played the baby some Sheryl Crow this morning. He's loving her new disc as much as I am. He likes the ladies already.

Comments

[Queenie]

I did the looking up of the sex offenders thing once back when I lived in California. There were SIXTEEN living within a ten block radius of my house. SIXTEEN. And there was a preschool, an elementary school, a junior high school, and a high school all within three blocks of my house. I was disgusted. At least you only found ONE, and that's an easiy monitorable number. Yech.

[wn]

Hey Hil.,

Just checking in to see if things are ok. Miss your posts, hope all with your pregnancy is going well and that the pressure has eased up a bit.

Natalie (wn)

[Jackie]

I'm missing your posts too!! Come back to us soon!! Before the baby really gets here and takes up your time!! Hee Hee!! Try and rest when you can! Love Jackie

[hardware]

Public schools have to say, don't have to say the Pledge of Alliegence